At 17, Christy's Parents Betrothed Her To a Man She Knew Nothing About

This is the real life story of Christy "Who Was Forced Into Marriage" she's sharing her personal experiences so that parents should learn some vital lessons especially when it has to do with making decisions for our children.

I'm sure you've heard of certain cultural practices where girls are often betrothed to men, especially against their will.

Well, Christy's case is quite similar - At just age 17, Christy's parents gave her hand out in marriage to a man who she absolutely knew nothing about and had no feelings for. In fact, she barely knew what having a feeling for someone as regarding relationships and marriage was really about. 

She was born into a very poor home, and despite being the third child, Christy had so much domestic responsibilities that she had to take care of. 

While the men were allowed to have some level of formal education, Christy and her other female siblings (4 female siblings) were not opportune to access any. They were the home keepers, they had to prepare the meals for the males, wash their clothes and do other chores that the males could have even done.

To cut the whole story short, one day, a mutual friend of her mother came around one morning, she told Christ's mum that one of her brother is looking to settle down, that he had a good job in a reputable organization and that Christy would be a good match for him, given that she's very hard working and young, so she'll be easy to nurture.

Without any hesitation, Christy's mother agreed to give her daughter's hand in marriage, to the young man she hasn't even seen yet. Only making decisions based on description.

She spoke about the matter to her husband (Christy's dad) who hardly objected any decision she makes. He had little say in any matter relating to decision making in the family, as Christy's mum always had this domineering nature - Anything she says, holds.

And just like that, arrangements were made and the date for introduction ceremony was set. Like a dream, or should I say nightmare, this day drew closer and closer - Christy was so bitter, she would cry all night, she even tried to patronise her dad, maybe he would consider her concerns about this decision and hopefully respect her resolve, her resolve not to marry someone she hasn't seen or had any kind of feeling for. But she had no luck with that, because every time she made the attempt to talk her parents to reconsider their decision, she'll hit a brick-wall.

Now the day drew closer, until it was only 24 hours left to the occasion date. This was the most devastating 24 hours of her life, it seemed like 24 minutes - behold, the day of the event is upon her. She didn't feel like waking up, she even wished she could die in her sleep or probably run away, but where is she going to run off to?

While all these drama was playing in her head, she heard a noise, people were singing, and that sounded like it was coming in the direction of their house - Out of curiosity, Christy peeped from a tiny nail hole in her room's window. "Oh God, this shouldn't be what I'm thinking" she whispered to herself.

But, unfortunately, it is. Her in-laws were here with the requested items needed for her bride price. She felt really bad, in fact, she broke down in tears as she felt she was about to be sold off.

 

But some things don't change no matter how much tears we pour out - Just like losing a loved one to death, she felt lost. And she felt dead!

And as she continued to mourn her death, there was a knock on the door, and the door opened almost immediately, even before she got the chance to wipe her tears or to ask who was at the door.

 

"Come, your husband is here" It was her mum, and behind her is the woman who was the mastermind behind this whole marriage thing.

 

She was pulled out of bed and told to prepare for ceremony. Reluctantly, without any option, she took her bath and put on a new dress - when Christy stepped out, she scanned the scene and saw her dad and other men, some she knew and others she was seeing for the first time, all drinking and lost in merriment.

Tears almost gushed out again, but she had to control her cloud. She shut her eyes for a moment, for two reasons, she wanted to be sure this was a dream and the second reason is to ensure the tears that formed didn't drop, it would have been a flood.

After all the ceremonial activities had been observed, Christy had to move out of her parents house that day against her will, to the "strange man's house" a husband she knew not, a marriage she didn't plan for.

Christy, in her narration said that ever since that day, even till now, despite being in the marriage for over 40+ years, she has never known happiness. She has lived her life in regrets, it was never the life she wished for or chose.

Although, Christy's parents are long gone now, (dead) and they have no idea how much damage they've caused in their child's life, which can never be corrected.

In her final note. Christy advised that, parents should be more concerned about the happiness of their children. That parents should make it a top priority to ensure that they aren't enforcing a dictatorship type of laws and making decisions on behalf of their kids, especially decisions that may hurt these children for the rest of their lives.

Although Christy cannot change what happens to her now, but she hopes to make a meaning with her life, by using the rest of her active days alive to educate parents and soon to be parents on the importance of meaningful parenting, through her story.

She believes that, any parent that lacks respect for their children and only wants their will to prevail aren't qualified to be parents.

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